Asking for Help is a Strength, Not a Weakness

At my last salon appointment, Diane and I made plans to discuss this blog post. It had been awhile, and time had gotten away from us both. Among other things, Di had been busy trying to put together some SOPs to make it easier to onboard new stylists.

“I could help with that, if you want,” I said.

Di paused a moment before agreeing. “Yeah. That would be good.”

We connected via Zoom a week later and Di opened up about why that was such a big moment.

There’s such a stigma around asking for help. Women especially often fear that people will think they’re weak if they can’t do everything themselves.

Sometimes it’s a control issue. We want everything to be perfect, and whether we realize it or not, we think we’re the only ones who can make it perfect.

Some people use busyness as a coping mechanism, overbooking themselves so they don’t have time to feel their emotions or face their current situation or a past trauma.

No matter the reason, trying to do everything yourself leads to overwhelm, frustration, and exhaustion, eventually burning you out as your physical and mental health suffer.

Asking for help takes courage and self-awareness. But it’s so important for personal growth and overall well being. Once you discover what’s holding you back, you can start to work through those issues.

For much of Di’s career, she probably would have answered me, “No thanks. I’ll do the SOPs myself.” Conditioned for self-sufficiency, she was really good at treading water. But year after year, she didn’t accomplish her main goal of having a successful business that ran well enough to bring in the revenue she wanted in a sustainable number of hours.

Thanks to years of growth and coaching, this time she was able to accept help when it was offered. Because she’d been writing down her goals and breaking them into actionable tasks every day, she knew doing so would free up time to focus on what she’s best at.

It’s vulnerable to admit something isn’t your expertise. But we all have different skills, gifts, and interests. Life is more satisfying and successful when we get to focus on our strengths and what we actually enjoy doing. 

For Di, that’s building one-on-one connections, whether with a client, someone visiting the wig bank, or her stylists. During those interactions, she wants her brain to be clear and focused so she’s really in the moment. Not thinking about those unpleasant tasks that live at the bottom of her to-do list.

Asking for help allows her to delegate some of those tasks and make the best use of her limited time and energy. This has been a monumental area of growth. It’s exciting to realize that accepting help doesn’t have to be intimidating. It can actually make you feel better as you work more efficiently and see progress toward your goals. 

Because Di asked me for help, these SOPs will finally get written and crossed off her to-do list. I can keep her on track, hold her accountable, and use my writing and research skills to speed up the process and leave her with a clear and thorough set of SOPs that she can use for years to come. That will allow her to focus on the actual training conversations, and release any guilt or frustration over this lingering task.

Do you feel like you can’t do everything that’s coming at you? Maybe you want to be a better leader, a better mom, just better at life. Try writing down everything you do. Don’t forget mundane but necessary tasks, like laundry, grocery shopping, work, picking up the kids from school. Then start circling things you could delegate.

Don’t get hung up on the automatic excuses. I can’t afford a cleaning lady. Really think about it. Could you save money in another area to pay for cleaning? I have to pick up my kids. Could you create a carpool with neighbors, friends, or family to free up a few afternoons each week? Brainstorm ways you can be more efficient, like ordering groceries online or putting all your bills on autopay. One or two small changes could free up fragments of time so you can get that workout in or write that story that’s in your heart or enjoy a cup of coffee on your patio.

Focus on what you do best, come up with creative ways to improve your time efficiency, and don’t be ashamed to let others use their gifts and talents on your behalf. On the flip side, be open to ways you can use your strengths to bless others.

Need some help feeling confident or coming up with a new spring style? Book your next appointment today. The Thanx team would love to use our gifts to help!

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This post was written by Amy Miller, freelance writer and Thanx superfan. You can find out more about her writing services and her personal journey at her blog: A Novelist’s Guide to Rewriting Your Life.